The Four Agreements by Don Miquel Ruiz is a great little guide of wisdom. We are discussing each one of the agreements each month to bring awareness to it some more.
The Third Agreement:
Don’t Make any Assumptions
Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves. So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves. That is the way the human mind works. We also make assumptions about ourselves, and this creates a lot of inner conflict.
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In this third agreement, Ruiz talks about how we assume we know what other people (or our pets) think!
For example, you are walking your dog on the street, and an attractive person walks by and smiles at you. You will possibly think that he/she likes you and you can potentially take it further as to when you two will meet again, followed by that you will live together happily ever after. An extreme but innocent example, just for you to get the idea. Who really knows what they were thinking when they smiled? Maybe they recalled a funny situation earlier that day, or maybe they were smiling because you were wearing two different socks? You don’t know until you literally ask them: “Why did you smile at me”?
It will be more important to stop assuming with bigger life issues, like relationships. What does the other person want out of the relationship, whether it’s a platonic friendship or marriage. Assuming that it is the same as what you want, may eventually hurt you. Don’t assume you know what others are thinking. If you really want/need to know, just ask.
Making assumptions can leave you hurt, and ultimately you made it all up in your own mind. It’s not real. Take things at face value, or ask questions about the things you feel you need to know.
Next agreement:
“Always do your best”
Ruiz, Don Miguel (2011-07-07). The Four Agreements (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom) (A Toltec Wisdom Book). Amber-Allen Publishing.
